Inside Of Me.

Everyday I am just stepping one step ahead, more towards the mystery. I speak my mind, share most I can. That way I feel a bit light, helps me understand myself, feels free n clear. Not many really get it the way it actually is or the way it feels inside me. In this being open minded one, there’s a lot of stuff suppressed unknowingly, things that are weird for ppl or hard to understand, so often I am left with no options, Cz I can’t talk it out that way nor make them really see the my way. Thus, it stays in me, and days go on and on. I simply have no clue where I am heading, and it is quite weird for me. I have no proper justification to satisfy the questions on this, but yeah it’s weird for me, that ppl are literally fine with not knowing themselves, even others.. they simply talk n move, no connection, no real bond. You can’t feel the another soul feel his pain, his smile, and then just say I share a bond! Feeling a soul is so so so wonderful thing that people will transform with the very first encounter of it. Most don’t even really feel their own soul!
They justify saying that you eventually come to know about ppl, understand yourself and your purpose. Question is, Is anyone Really Really trying?  Most just dragging their life to settle, to fulfil greed, to ‘complete’ the journey life, not actually live it.
Everyone, All most everyone know that they are doing it wrong, but rare stand to make it right. There are so many knowledged souls who see things are really going wrong around the world. But out of them too most are left to be knowledged critics,just blabbing about wrongs, Rare rise to be wise and enlightened enough to trying to get out of it, help ppl who want to get out of it.
I am not fine with suppressing my ‘wake up calls’, where I literally have a moment of realization of where I am stuck in. Its like going in a room and forgetting why you came there. People are really fine with it! How!?
It’s like they just dragging there days till there last, completing the game of monopoly most acting like pawns.
These suppressed thoughts won’t allow me to let breathe free, or feel it.
I tried talking it out, but no.. most really don’t get it. No blames on them. Theres lots of stuff i feel deep yet unsual for others.
I sometimes look at peoples eyes, I sometimes really feel depthness in few. I stare at few like I saw a human first time. It’s so interesting to actually look at people, specially when they talk what’s deep in them, its like taking tour to that depthness.
I seriously have no materialistic wishes. I no more understand them. I still don’t really know what to do, just taking step forward everyday, exploring in intense wonder.
Suppressed thoughts, waiting to come out to ones who would really understand. But that’s the most unusual n unique part of mine. N that is making me like myself a lil more. Preserving the uniqueness. But, frankly it’s hard, not being understood or when the closest ones can’t see the simplest or basic thoughts I share. When understanding them is quite hard for the closests ones, it breaks n weakens the hope for these complex thoughts to be understood.
I don’t want or expect ppl to change thoughts n see like mine, no.., just a listener, who can feel, or understand the my way, even if its far far different from theirs.
I won’t criticize them. But yeah I find many criticizers for mine thoughts, n then I am fierce towards them, Cz they can’t see, nor tried to understand it, but head on heals to criticize.
A lot stuffed it. Don’t know how to sort it or where to start from, just adding up more mysteries to it. Jumbling it up, all unsolved ones… 🙂 

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